Articles by Our Director

About FatherLove

FatherLove: The Central Information Source on Fathering Issues for Puget Sound

Mission Statement:

FatherLove is committed to encouraging & strengthening positive father-child relationships; improving the capacity of men as caregivers; and creating opportunities for fathers to engage meaningfully in their children's lives.

In order to fulfill this mission, FatherLove works to:

support public & private agencies in their efforts to open pathways for fathers' constructive & positive involvement in children's lives

offer education and training opportunities for the public and for individuals to recognize, support and celebrate fatherhood

encourage men to be engaged and responsible parents

enjoy the love of their children and learn from their growth

Vision: Problems

Once fathers were so important and respected that the best way people could think of to feel close to God was "Our Father..." Then society changed and fathers became patriarchs. Then society changed again and now fathers are seen too often as unnecessary.

But this is a fallacy and our society is facing a range of social problems among children reared without fathers' love and influence. We also have a large population of men who are isolated, who miss their children and miss that connection to the community that their children provided. Children need their fathers' love and fathers need their children's love. Communities are spending their limited assets to address a variety of social problems without making use of a valuable untapped resource: the healthy presence of fathers and father figures in children's lives.

Vision: Hopes

FatherLove envisions a world in which every child has the benefit of two parents. We hope for a time when barriers to fathers' involvement with their children are removed and the normal expectation of all is that men can and should be active, engaged parents. Whether residing with their children or not, fathers will be encouraged to maintain a healthy relationship with their children, and children will be supported in receiving the love of their father or a father-figure. Mothers and those working with mothers will also know the value, for them and their child, of promoting the inclusion of (the healthy) father in children's lives. No longer will dads be considered "babysitters." Opportunities for encouraging these relationships will be common, and agencies, schools and community groups, such as religious congregations, will easily provide resources for supporting all parents, mothers and fathers equally. We model loving, consensual and collaborative relationships between men and women and men and other men in working toward this vision.

We envision a society where the role of a father or father-figure such as a grandfather, stepfather, close uncle, mentor, or guide is essential for making society work; where people no longer think children belong to or with only the mother, but rather they think children need and have a right to be with a loving and engaged father or father-figure, too. In this society child-care, schools, family leave and similar concerns will not be seen as women's issues, or even as family issues, but as everyone's issues.

History

FatherLove was founded in 2000 based on the work of director Craig Scott Brooke-Weiss. Working to promote the father-child connection, Craig has conducted an extensive needs assessment on fathering issues in the Pacific Northwest. He has explored efforts to support fathering, locally and nationally. Craig met with representatives of public and private services in King and Snohomish Counties as well as city and state government representatives. He reviewed the literature and published articles about healthy male development, healthy men, and the impact that fathers' involvement has on healthy child development. The needs assessment included awareness of the importance of fathers in the healthy development of children, supports for fathering, and inclusion of fathers in the parenting equation.

The primary finding of this assessment was that fathers are often excluded from full participation in their children's lives, mainly because there is not enough understanding in the current parent support system about the importance of fathers and how to include them in healthy child development efforts.

To learn more about Craig's experience as a father and step-father, read his articles: Articles by Craig Scott Brooke-Weiss

Board of Directors

Current officers of the FatherLove non-profit corporation are:

• Craig Brooke-Weiss, Director

• Blair L. Brooke-Weiss

• Lee Grogg

• Kevin Haggerty

• Dann Oppfelt

• Pablo Stanfield

• Joe Varano

Programs

Current Projects:

• Puget Sound Fathering Initiative
  We are actively working to develop the Puget Sound Fathering Initiative: a network of organizations and individuals committed to connecting fathers to services, support, one another and their children. Ways we do that are:

  • FatherLove Website
    We provide and maintain this WWWeb site with an interactive calendar of fathering events, a list of resources for agencies and fathers, and Hospitality Exchange assistance.

    We grately appreciate the web programming students of North Seattle Community College who designed and set up this site as a cooperative class project and final, pro bono programming exercise AND as a gesture of good will and support to the fathers of Puget Sound. Team members include:

    • Daniel Meissner
    • Margaret Nolen
    • Angela Sheppard
    • Barbara Snyder
    • Yannis Paris
    • and Bert Hoff of of Men's Voices

• PR for Dads
  

  • King County Fatherhood Survey
    FatherLove contracted with Gilmore research to conduct the first King County Fatherhood Survey. Five hundred and sixty two King County parents of children under 18, of which two hundred and one fathers, were interviewed to find out their attitudes and beliefs about the importance of fathers. Results from this survey will be posted on our site before January 2002. We expect to use the results of this survey to increase the connection between fathers and children in the Puget Sound Region. Washington Kids Count and United Way Children's Initiative have made a commitment to distribute the results of the survey.

  • Father of the Year Essay Project
    In collaboration with the Seattle Mariners, our working group of volunteers and agencies as well as local Public Schools, private schools, the National Center for Fathering, Microsoft and a host of other organizations and individuals, FatherLove implemented the 2001 Seattle Mariners Father of the Year Essay Contest throughout the greater Seattle area. Check out the winning 2001 Seattle Mariners essays from the 2001 Seattle Mariners Father of the Year Essay Contest

• Support for Dads
  

  • Boot Camp for New Dads
    FatherLove, along with Northwest Hospital, brought the Nationally recognized expectant fathering class Boot Camp for New Dads to the Pacific Northwest. By providing expectant fathers important information that is tailored for the needs of each of the men in class, Boot Camp improves men's parenting skills, often reducing their anxiety as well as assists them in the transitioning into the role of father. Many of the programs for new parents do not address the differences in needs and styles between mothers and fathers. Programs like "Boot Camp" and Conscious Fathering address men's needs by providing expectant dads with important information in a relaxing, all-male environment. We hope all hospitals and health care systems will offer new dad-specific training.

  • Resources
    We try to keep informed of what resources are available for fathers both from organizations and in print and electronic media. Go to our Resources page

  • Other unmet needs
    Men in the Puget Sound area have many other needs. We hope to collaborate and promote programs which get fathers and father figures involved:
    

    • in schools and their children's education;

    • in father to father mentoring programs for young and "fragile family fathers;"

    • in father support groups;

    • in father-friendly family court services;

    • with Child Support Enforcement that is coupled with job-search and training programs...

Potential projects:

FatherLove will continue to encourage, initiate and support proven, effective and positive fathering programs in the Puget Sound region. We hope to:

• Expand expectant father training like Boot Camp for New Dads and Conscious Fathering throughout King, Kitsap, Pierce, Snohomish and Thurston Counties and the rest of Western Washington.

• Initiate father-toddlers classes as well as informal, once a month, father-toddlers meetings, at the zoo, park, library, etc.

• Publish information and articles that educate the public about the essential nature of fathers' role.

• Bring the Dads Show radio program to a local public radio station.

• Create school-based fathers' forums modeled on the successful "Donuts-for-Dads."

• Work with agencies such as Help Increase the Peace program (HIP) of the American Friends Service Committee (AFSC) to teach young men alternatives to violent discipline and understanding of the emotions involved in parenting and partnering.

• Create or bring to the Puget Sound region an incarcerated young/teen dad mentoring program such as Meld for new dads.

• Teen Dads
  There is a desperate need to involve and support unmarried, young men who have children. We need to keep "fragile families" (poor and usually young and unmarried) together. By the time a child is two, a "fragile family" mother often is supported by the "system" and feels that she can make it without the father's involvement. Up until this time, the father has often informally supported the mother. While their are often scant resources for teen mothers, there are less for teen fathers. With few prospects for employment, teen fathers too often simply "disappear" and there is little effort, if any, to keep them or to assist them to stay involved in their family's lives. Regardless of whether parents stay together, many of these young men desire to stay involved in their children's lives but lack the knowledge, support and resources to do so. We hope to challenge and support agencies to develop a comprehensive Teen Dad program.

• Dad2Dad Mentors
  

  "Beginning here today I am asking you to join me in launching a nationwide Father-to-Father movement. There are new, young fathers struggling with every facet of their role, from changing diapers to finding a job that can support their sons and daughters. There are mature, experienced fathers who would love to volunteer to help them. Let's bring them together."
  Vice President Albert Gore, Nashville TN, 7/11/1994

  We hope to establish a program of experienced fathers offering to share their skills with new fathers at different stages in child development.
  

  Interested? E-mail us.

Director's Articles

Look at the index and read an article written by FatherLove Director, Craig Brooke-Weiss

How You Can Support FatherLove

• You can send your tax-deductible contribution as a check made out to:
  FatherLove
  PO Box 33940
  Seattle, WA 98133-0940

• If FatherLove's work assisting families and fathers staying connected interests you, you can assist us by volunteering. We can use your assistance with:

  1. keeping up-to-date on the local fathering activities for the FatherLove calendar
  2. assist with our occasional mailings
  3. set up local fathering support groups (call or email to find out how)
  4. market our Faces of Fatherhood calendars.
  
  Call (206) 368-7025, or e-mail us to explore volunteer opportunities

• Share the news:
  

  • If you are a father, think about how you can be more engaged and aware in relating positively with your children. If you face challenges -Who doesn't?- ask for help. Talk to other men.

  • Get FatherLove listed as a charity at your workplace

  • Give through the United Way of King County.

  • If you are not a father, but want to help, tell dads you know (including your own) the things you appreciate that they do as fathers.

  • Consider the barriers that currently exist to fathers involvement in children's lives; do your part in getting rid of prejudices about nurturing men.

  • Get your church, synagogue, temple, mosque or community group to make a donation to FatherLove .